Green Day is a welcome contributor to this website but the Dubai Hoops cannot vouch for the authenticity of his stories, neither are we interested in disproving such, agreeing/disagreeing with the content etc. Just enjoy......................Ed.
A co-operative of 40 somethings; overweight guys from the Renfrew & District Sunday League, going under the name of Linwood Stations of the Cross FC and led by Primary School legend (he scored twice against Sacred Heart in the first round of the Schools' Cup) Sean McGubbin, have made an “oaffishell” approach to “The Keeper of the Holy Biscuit Tin” stating that “if we chip in 30 quid a week each, can wan ae us get a game each week until we huv aw played for the hoops?”
The Celtic (card) Board have replied “We find this type of offer to be completely ridiculous……..that’s less than 6 grand for a whole season! If they put it up to 40 quid each plus made their own way to the games then awright we’ve goat a deal!”
A spokesman for Linwood SOTC FC has countered with “We cannae raise the 40 quid each cause most ae us are signin oan but ma Maw says she’ll make the sandwiches for the whole first team tae take oan the bus.”
The (card) Board (on leaving Tam Shepherd’s Joke Shoap looking for a new striker……………..on loan) retorted “ if yir Maw makes them gammon then yir oan wee man!”
Other stuff
The Celtic (dart) Board who promised “Big Name Signings” are believed to be working not on how good a player is or how famous he is rather they want players with BIG names i.e. a name which has 8 or more letters.
A Board (to tears) member said “The more letters in the name, the more we take in at the Superstore as we charge per letter on the back of each shirt! Good money sense eh?”
Gordon Strachan (Ginger Nuts) is currently trying to sign Lithuanian forward “Alan Superkalifragilisticexpeealidoshius”.
