Contributions, topics, views, issues, etc. for posting on 'News and Views' from members of the Dubai Hoops CSC, should be forwarded to the e-mail address given at the top of the page.........................and no, we will not be preserving your anonymity…………….ok then, noms de plume allowed……………aye Barry, that’s like pen names…………..Ed.

  • The game against Newcastle United will be shown live in Dubliner's at 22:45 UAE time on Thursday 11/05/06

God signs superstar!!

In an amazing piece of business, top manager God, has swooped to sign
Wee Jinky Johnstone to play for his famous God's eleven. His mentor,
Jock Stein put God on the trail of the mercurial winger when he signed
on as The Lords right hand man in 1985.
Wee Jinky will be joining some old pals in this team of teams,
including his 'Lisbon Lions' buddies Ronnie Simpson and Bobby Murdoch.
This will be a very happy re-union for all concerned.
God himself is said to be very excited about having the wee man
slinging crosses into the middle for Jimmy McGrory, the paradise all
time greatest goalscorer. "This has the potential to be one of the
greatest teams ever" God was quoted as saying, "Jinky with Patsy and
Charlie Tully, I canny wait."
Wee Jinky agrees with The Lord, and is looking forward to pulling on
the famous green Halos (as they are known in Heaven), but disagrees
with His assumption that it could be the best team ever. "Naw", said
the wee fella with a glint in his eye "I have already played in that
team"...................Anon

From The Official GRFC Maths Workbook, which covers sums for practising Key Stage Two maths for 7-11 year olds. This has been introduced as part of the Government's maths campaign.

1. Barry Ferguson is 78 yards away from the referee at Ibrox and
Bob Malcolm is 65 yards away. If 'Bazza' can run at 21mph and Bob can
run at 16mph, who will be sticking their vein-bulging forehead into the
hapless whistler's face first, assuming Bob does not stop to stamp
on an opponent on his way.

2. If one minute of time is taken up in a game for substitutions
and one minute for injuries, how much injury time will be added on by
the referee if Rangers are losing at home?

3. 'Bazza' is a Scotsman. Express, as a percentage, the number of
internationals he has missed on a Wednesday evening compared to the
miraculous recoveries he made for the following Saturday.

4. Glasgow Rangers FC are one of the "giants of world club football".
How many more European Cup Finals have they appeared in than Steaua
Bucharest? (For one extra mark; How many more than Reims?)

4a. How many more times have Glasgow Rangers won the European Cup
than Nottingham Forest?

5. You are the referee at Tynecastle. How near to a visiting
defender does a tumbling Sorti Kyrgiakos have to be to earn a penalty if he
goes down in the box? (Note: Round your answers down to the nearest
20 yards.)

6. Probability. Express the statistical probability of visitors to
Ibrox being awarded a penalty. Compare this with the probability of
opponents of Glasgow Rangers being awarded a penalty home or away,
and then discuss if a penalty awarded to Glasgow Rangers would be
awarded to their opponents in identical circumstances.

7. Mark "The Hun" lives in Brechin. How much does it cost for him
and his two sons to travel to the Theatre of Silence every other
weekend, including limited edition matchday programme, a few drinks and a
macaroon bar all round? How much could he save per week if he
watched his local team instead?
(Note: Round your answers down to the nearest hundred pounds).

8. Kyrgiakos is 6ft tall and very strong. How much pressure need be
applied to make him tumble over in the opponents penalty area?
(Note: Answers must be in lbs per square inch.)

9. What is the total number of chickens counted before they were
hatched by Glasgow Rangers and their supporters who thought
Hibernian were a pushover.................................................... BK

 

  • Oft repeated statement…………'we need two big strong full backs'…….that of course presumes that we will continue to play 4-4-2, if so, then cheerio Neil Lennon. IMO, Lenny (always available) is ineffective in a four man midfield and is over-run in the games where a midfield opposition of 5, chase, close down and ultimately get beyond the Celtic midfield and so on top of the back four. Just my thoughts but 3-5-2 offers the chance to play players (presently) available in the positions designed to get the best from their abilities, and that means Lenny in midfield, playing keep-ball if 3-1 up with ten minutes to go.

     

    Incidentally, Aiden's choice of ROI is just that, his choice…………..Don't hear the same tub thumping about Adam Virgo's choice to opt for Scotland…………irony or double standards........................TB

  • Golf..............Wednesday 1st Feb.............update(s) to follow but Bertie Auld and Joe McBride will be playing for 'The Hoops'...

 

The Pain of Bratislava

 

Faithful through and through doesn't mean slavishly taking the uncritical party line; supporting the Tic is not nor ever has been solely about following a football team, well not to the 'real' Celtic family anyway, and I am not talking about the politics here but about embracing the joy, euphoria, sadness, pain, etc., in effect, all of the emotions that comes with being a Celtic supporter. What brings all this on? ……….. Wednesday night watching that pish round Big Martin's pad with some of the Celtic family here in Dubai and visitors desperate for their Celtic fix, close friends one and all. So I felt the pain but when I looked around at the assembled, the faces of each bore that look of bewilderment, anger, disbelief and abject despair that comes with the territory of being a Celtic supporter, so it's not just me or you, it's all of us that feel it, hence the reason for this missive aimed at the Dubai Hoops CSC, well the 'real' Celtic supporters amongst us. The dust has settled. Regroup. Get yer arses down to the Dub's for the next game, and remember ………………faithful through and through! …………………Ed. 

  • Headline in The Herald; 'Romanov in bid to take over Celik' ..................aye gied me a fright tae. TBM

  • STRANGER THAN FICTION No.1 - Rankgers' chairman David Murray has urged the club's fans to stop buying certain newspapers he believes are unfairly critical of his club.........................Oh really! You couldn't make it up, Ed.
  • STRANGER THAN FICTION No.2 - Sunday 14th August. Sheep 3 Huns 2, Jamie Smith scoring in the last min.........................really!
  • STRANGER THAN FICTION No.3 - Saturday 10th September. Falkirk 1 Huns 1, Novo scores with a penalty............................really!
  • STRANGER THAN FICTION No.4 - Sunday 16th October. Dundee Utd. 0 Huns 0, TFOD were not awarded a penalty!
  • Re the (not so recent) bid for the Henke painting; those involved (The Jinky Table) who have not yet settled, please invoke one of three options: 1 - give the dosh to Big Martin so he can spend it, 2 - give the dosh to Franny so he can spend it, 3 - leave it behind the bar in the Dub's so it gets lost. Cheers, please clear by the end of the month latest! TBM

WHAT DOES CELTIC MEAN TO YOU?

  • Celtic Football Club is an institution conceived and constructed from within, and sustained by the immigrant Irish and their offspring in Scotland. SKYDIVER
  • Celtic Football Club is the vehicle for the expression and remembrance of the history of the struggle of our forefathers to gain acceptance and integration for the Diaspora and their offspring throughout and beyond the Commonwealth. TBM

 

A LETTER TO DAD

A father entered his daughter's bedroom and saw a letter on the bed.
With the worst premonition and trembling hands, he read:
Dear Mum and Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've
eloped with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice.
Especially with all his piercings, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle.

Not only that, I'm pregnant, and Billy Boy Paisley said that we will be very happy in his caravan in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams.

I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing
it for us and his friends. They're the one's providing us with all the
cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want. In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure, so that Billy Boy Paisley gets better. He deserves it.

Don't worry about money. Billy Boy Paisley has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement. Apparently I can earn £50 a scene. I get a £50 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene.

Don't worry Mum. Now I'm 15 years old, I know how to take care of
myself.
Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter, Bridget...............................



.........................................See below........................................................







   

p.s: Dad, it's not true. I'm watching TV at a neighbour's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than getting beat 2 - 1 at Motherwell and losing the league with 3 minutes to go!.........................Submitted by DK. Thanks for the contribution pal. Good to see that Derek is on the mend eh............ Ed.
  • Martin has completed his walking/climbing/hiking of the Great Wall of China…………………great effort big man! The Barca Mole has agreed to contribute 1000 AED sponsorship cash; whit about the rest ae yeez?............get yer dosh out! TBM
  • Really f*cked off at no having the gemme on in Dub's on Sunday. Needs to be sorted for next season; every game every week. CG

  • Agreed, checked the net and cannot find confirmation of this Sunday's game against Embra Huns as being shown in Dubai....any contingencies? TBM

  • Will be a real sickener if we don't get to see Sunday's game, also agree with CG, needs to be sorted out for next season. F McC

  • It's got to be on. Anybody checked wi 'Goodfellas'? Tim Molloy

  • Good luck Dave Shields. F McC

  • Proposed name change - The George Galloway Emerald CSC - Seconded? TI

  • Cheerio and Good Luck MON..............Thanks for the memories. TBM

  • Whit's aw this about having yer ain bedroom as a wean........who's kidding who here..........never even had ma ain room at approved school and BTW let's gie the wee ginger guy Strachan some support, nothing up wi being a ginga or sharing a two room and kitchen in the East End with five brothers..........yer ain room, aye right! CG

  • The George Galloway Emerald CSC, brilliant! Wonder if he had his own room. Green & White Red

  • See like huvin' yer ain room nat, well even worse, we used to know a guy who hid his ain room but always wanted tae hing aboot wi the team nat ye know, forget his name but it wiz a posh wan. Anyhow, we let him hing aboot wi the team nat cos he wiz good fur gettin' the cider nat when we used to go ower the park fur a fight know but then he got a burd fae the west end (cos nane ae the team's burds liked him, they thought he wiz strange) and we didnae see him fur ages when he started winchin; nats no an unusual occurrence wi people that hid their ain rooms, cos sumday else ah used to know in the sooside telt me his team had a guy jist like that, ain room n stuff then he got a burd and started stayin in watchin the telly nat..........so watch oot fur repeats in Dubai. CG

  • Good contribution and sound advice from CG above....... Ed. 

  • I had my own room! Does anyone else in the Dubai Hoops CSC think that the Irish stew in Dubliner's is lamb? Posh Bhoy

  • Is the club staying at the Dubliner's next season? Tim Molloy

  • Said before, this needs to be sorted out for next season, Dubliner's is my first choice but whatever or wherever, it has got to be every game - every week! F McC

  • Dead right pal, and anurra hing, see if them bams behind the bar play that simply the best again ah'll go sperr so ah will. CG

 

 

Christmas Ceili - Wednesday 14th December 2005 - Aviation Club.

A Christmas Ceili is being organised by the various Irish groups in Dubai in advance of Christmas. The Celts, The Irish Society, DIGS and the Business Group.  We would encourage people to come along and have a bit of Craic. There will be Set Dance callers, a live Irish Music Band and some more modern Irish tunes late in the night. 8.30pm until late.

Tickets are available on the door, only 50 AED.

 
 
 
 
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